LEWIS brings home the bacon, buys flower for wife

LEWIS returns home late Sunday night after a productive weekend in Southern Utah. With the Svelte and Surefooted Rob Corson, team Billy Goat Scrotums logged just under 80 miles in the 12 hour time limit for 2nd place, doing laps through the loose sand and slickrock of the Monitor and Merrimac trails. We find LEWIS in his kitchen massaging his tired quads and sipping Ensure: "I'm one step closer to realizing my dream of becoming an ultra-runner," states LEWIS, his sand-covered face beaming proudly, "not only did I run at near-glacial paces for an ungodly amount of time in loose sand in size 13 trail shoes that weigh 32 oz each, but I did so fueled on Ensure, Heed energy drink, Red Bull, gummy bears, and uncountable overly priced and heavily packaged electrolyte replacement gimmicks!"

One would think that the gruff Billy Goats would be content to rest on their laurels after such an endeavor, but they decided that rather than shower and relax in the comforts of a motel room, they would camp out again in their own filth and get up the next morning for a 3 hour mountain bike ride in a sandstorm.

Race Stats:

14 laps total for the team, 7 laps each- 77 miles in 11:50.

LEWIS!'S laps:

lap 1: 44:20 av hr 143, max 163
lap 2: 43:50 av hr 151, max 170
lap 3: 41:52 av hr 157, max 173
lap 4: 47:50 av hr 151, max 167
lap 5: 46:38 av hr 151, max 166
lap 6: 45:21 av hr 154, max 167
lap 7: 46:27 av hr 154, max 174

LEWIS!

LEWIS ready for 12 hour race, enjoys The Darjeeling Limited

Having finished his run in a snowstorm this morning, we find LEWIS in the midst of packing his bags for an upcoming 12 hour race in Moab this weekend. LEWIS, along with the Svelte and Surefooted Rob Corson, has signed on with the prestigious team 'I dreamed a dream of billy goat scrotums' and, despite only a meager month of training, exudes a calm confidence as he thoughtfully muses on their chances: "I didn't train my fucking ass off in snowstorms for a whole month to do anything other than fucking dominate."

He pauses briefly and then continues, "Wes Anderson is striving to develop the cinematic equivalent of the late and brilliant David Foster Wallace in the development of an aesthetic that manages to maintain the hesitancies and complicities of postmodernism while simultaneously allowing for the immediacy of emotional experience and the possibility of genuine human bonds. However in his most recent rendition, The Darjeeling Limited, the effort feels labored, the characters merely sketched out as a hastily compiled set of primitive psychological predispositions based on their profound inaccessibility to themselves. Moreover, and this is the kicker, even to the viewer who can readily identify the pathology, the dynamics fail to rise above caricatured two-dimensionality.

Take, for instance, the moment when Francis, the eldest sibling, asks aloud as to source of the difficulties in the brothers' relationship. Peter-- the middle son, who, in an example of just the sort of overly-self-aware and heavy-handed symbolism that Anderson employs, wears oversized spectacles that blurrily obscure rather than clarify, thus necessitating them being pushed up on his forehead for Peter to see anything (a nice representation of the permeating self-deception and willing blindness at play in the film)-- responds with a shrug, "Maybe it has to do with the way we were raised." The potential weight of this offhand rejoinder in light of the evident lack of insight, emotional decrepitude, and propagated dysfunction on an intended spiritual journey is striking in its ability to say nothing and everything about these people, who they are, and who they are to each other- and yet, given the lack of our investment in the characters themselves, it falls flat and tinny."


LEWIS!

LEWIS returns from the UK, moves his bowels.

After spending 24 hours in Canvey and 36 hours traveling to and from Canvey, LEWIS re-enters his life in the U.S. dramatically changed. "The English have it bloody well figured out. Grab a pint?" LEWIS remarks, still unshaven and unshowered. "Cheers, mate- I do love a spot of fox-hunting- grab a pint?" He then posts photos of the varied sights from his trip on his blog and gives his weekly total:

With 3 days off for travel:

Running - 7 hours

Mtn Biking - x1 - 3 hours

Test